May 5th, 2011, 8:00 am

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Chapter 01_Page 22

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alexisneo May 5th, 2011, 8:00 am

So chapter 01 is over :D
What did you guys think of this little intro of a chapter?
Who are your favorite characters so far?

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Allucinari May 5th, 2011, 8:06 am

I like the brotherrr.


But I'm mourning the loss of daddy. ):

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teurastaa May 5th, 2011, 8:16 am

Very nice first chapter. I like the brother also. So sad the dad died so suddenly and in the first chapter. Now the only way we'll know him is if there's any flashbacks ;__;

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zetina May 5th, 2011, 8:39 am

I'm surprised Lune isn't crying. Either the fact hasn't kicked in yet or she didn't love daddy too much. But um no faves at this point. No one has done anything for me to like them for it.

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Pandaface0 May 5th, 2011, 9:24 am

I like Mr. Dalvius 8D
and eric, lol.

The first chapter was very good. The death of the father was very surprising.. i really didn't expect it at all!

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Kibouchi May 5th, 2011, 9:38 am

T3T nuuuuuuuz i liked the dad.... oh well... can't wait!

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Rubygem May 5th, 2011, 11:39 am

...um... well the dad didn't have much character development so I think you guys will be fine since you live with 2 vampires XD
Erics okay

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XKat11120X May 5th, 2011, 2:43 pm

I loved the story so far! I really can't wait until the next chapter!! 8D

My favourite character is Lune!

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h3llokitty May 5th, 2011, 3:10 pm

I like Lune the most. :) She's super cute and I love her hairstyle. I also like how she's independent and adventurous. At least that's the impression I get so far.

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Sakqia May 5th, 2011, 3:30 pm

Eric!

As if that wasn't obvious.

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Foxblaze May 5th, 2011, 4:33 pm

I like Lune and the Principal.

Wouldn't it be funny if he turned out to be gay? >3<

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PatchChristine May 6th, 2011, 2:41 pm

Well... I'm liking this. It's kinda like a mood whiplash, you know? Because Lune is so happy-go-lucky all the time and it just clashes with the atmosphere of the story. I like that. :)

The death of the father didn't surprise me 'cause you had already said that it would happen.... a long time ago, anyway, but I have good memory ;) Just a bit of advice: you saw Madoka Magica, so you know that a character's death is more shocking when the character is more developed and even liked (Mamiiiiii ;_;)... so yeah, next time someone dies, make it unexpected! Surprise us! ;D

Oh and from a earlier page: Lune asks, 'so you're having a meeting tonight?', and Erik says, 'yes, you know, blah, blah, blah...' AVOID THAT. If they really go every night, the she wouldn't be asking something that obvious. It's clear that you included that part just to let the readers know. So yeah, try something different :)

What irks me it's the fact that Lune doesn't look SAD in that last page :/ Erik is sad/angry/frustrated, the mother is heartbroken, Tamantha looks smug (and she should, she just killed the coven's head) and Lune is... worrying about what's going to happen to them? Honestly? It kinda makes sense, but I would have been crying instead. But it's okay for now, maybe it's part of her character. Maybe she wasn't attached to her (step)father at all.

Now about the charas: I like them. They seem well-rounded and normal. The one that stands out is, well, Lune, but I'm not really impressed by her. I like Erik, the mother, the principal and, of course, Tamantha (bias? what bias? XD)

So yeah, that's all for now. XD Keep it up! ;)

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Rinas May 23rd, 2011, 2:25 pm

Oh crap. Lune's gonna be in so much trouble...